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Be a better yuppie: hire a Wii personal trainer [update]

April 1, 2008

[Update: Whoops. In catching up with my hundred or so unread items in the Kotaku feed, i wrote this post without realizing that they had a follow-up in which Westin PR people said that the initiative is part of a buddying-up between them and Nintendo, meaning the Wiis will be lent out for free. It will be part of the ‘successful’ WestinWORKOUT program.

You’re still a yuppie. 😐 ]

I’m only in my very early 20s so i can’t tell you when this happened, but yuppies have plagued the city of New York for years. If i knew more people, i’d say that there’s a general abhorrence of the species here, but i know enough to be qualified to say that it’s probable as hell.

But hey, yuppies are people, too. Superficial, depthless, empty, lifeless, unoriginal, artificial, pretentious, unnatural, nonessential, banal, gentrifying, clichéd people… but people nonetheless. As such, we should tolerate their lifestyle. Possibly even support it, help them better themselves. Well, i’ve got something that’s right up their alley. Westin Hotels, which i assume are expensive, are giving guests the option of renting out a Wii for $50 an hour. Cheap. About the same amount of time and money you spend on a new Wii game.

Here’s the special part: in the hotel’s gym, you can hire a personal trainer and a Wii to work out with for the modest sum of $120 an hour. Doesn’t get much more yuppie than working out at a hotel on a business trip, sweatin’ to your LCD Soundsystem MP3s, and gaining fake muscle with a personal trainer and Wii Fit, all on your expense account. For your convenience, there’s a Jamba Juice right in the Starbucks now, next to the Abercrombie and Fitch within the Apple Store. Kill yourself.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 2, 2008 2:32 pm

    So, what the heck do you need a trainer for? So you don’t hit yourself with the Wii-mote while serving??

  2. April 2, 2008 3:22 pm

    It’s part of the regimen. You know, immersion! That’s what new-gen’s all about, baby.

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