Spider-Man 3 on Wii…the review that should not be.
I’ve played some lame games. I mean I have played all text based RPGs on C64 and hated them less than this piece of shit known as Spider-Man 3 on wii. PS1 had better models. The character models jump and bug out in freaking game engine cut scenes. Peter looked like someone squeezed him and his eyes popped out. My dog licking his nuts for 5 minutes straight sounds more like Mary Jane than the voice actor did.
Web slinging was the coolest part but the nunchuck didn’t play its part well enough to even consider using so you have to resort to on arm swinging like your trying to beat your meat and can’t quite deliver. And then, just when your forearm is about to (explode since you can’t) you have to fight. You can lay 3 punches, and then you have to take a punch. No matter what the combo, you have to get hit. Bruce Campbell’s commentary was all the game had going for it. The characters in the game would say something and Spidey would say some shit that was so far out of context it got lost like Rollin.
Good GRIEF, can’t they make a third party game worth $50 on this damned system??
Look, Spider-Man 1 was a solid game. Loved it. Spidey 2 was even better as a GTA superhero sim though it was a little hollow, but this shit can’t even be considered a demo. It needs at least 2 more years before it can be considered a buyable game. By the time I got the black suit I was laughing with insanity at the fact this game was ever released to this world. I took this game back to Movie Gallery and basically told the clerk everything I just told you. He said I should (with a bored face) go grab another game.
I am going to format my Wii’s hard drive to rid myself of proof I ever played that game. I am going to format it faster than a hard drive with Windows Vista Preinstalled.
On a lighter not Prince of Persia on Wii kicks serious ass. It may just be another port with tacked on controls but it actually rocks. When I end up in hell, I will have to play Spider-Man 3 on Wii for all eternity.
Ever so spiteful.