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All I wanted was a game, but thats not good enough

August 13, 2006

GameStop
Sunday, August 13th 2006. 12:23pm
Liberal Kansas

After a delicious Spicy Chicken Crunch Wrap Supreme (a longer name than any food item should have) I say to my loving wife “Honey, I am really hankerin‘ for a racing game, a hot, nasty racing game with great crashe and speed effects”. My wife smiles and says “That would be nice dear, but you still haven’t beat Paper Mario”. I reply “But honey, you and I both know racing games are only good in 20 minutes spurts. I will just get it out of my system and return to a game with some serious game play”. She smiles and says “Okay honey” and we pull into Gamestop.

You walk in and you hear a low ominous boom as you realize you are the only people in the store…and the salesman has an itchy trigger finger.

“WELCOME TO GAMESTOP!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY GAMES YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRADE IN FOR STORE CREDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I look down at my hands, my pockets and around myself and my wife, then look at him and say…”No?”

“WELL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING JUST LET ME KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Thanks, will do.” I reply.

I walk over and grab Burnout 3 and Burnout Revenge on Xbox.
“YOU KNOW IN A MONTH THE GAME COMPANY WILL BE RELEASING A NEW BURNOUT TITLE!!!!!!!”

“Yeah, I like it because it’s cheap”

“WELL IT WILL ONLY COST $30. GAMES ARE GETTING CHEAPER”

I snap back at him,”Actually since its a EA game and its made for a dying gen console it will just be the same game and the same game engine and will have maybe a new feature or two that would not be worth $10 extra or the wait”

He is stifled. I grab Revenge since its newer.

I get up to him and hand him the game.

“YOU KNOW IF YOU BUY IT USED YOU CAN BRING IT BACK AND GET A FULL REFUND IF ITS NOT THE GAME YOU WANT”

I think to myself, “Support a retailer instead of a game company to save $3 and keep EA from making 20 lame games to 5 good ones!!!!”

I Actually say, “No its cool”. I have already snapped once, i don’t need to do it again.

“WHAT KIND OF GAMES DO YOU USUALLY GET????!!!!!”

“This is just a game to hold me over till Zelda comes out”

“HAVE YOU RESERVED IT YET!!!”

“A year and a half ago.”

“DO YOU HAVE A DS

“Yeah”

“HAVE YOU RESERVED PHANTOM HOURGLASS”

“Does it have a release date yet, so I know when it is reserved for”

“I THINK JANUARY!!”

“Yeah, 2007 until I get another automated call saying its been delayed, I try to reserve one game 2 years in advance at once”

“WELL SINCE YOU RESERVED THE TWILIGHT PRINCESS WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESERVE A STRATEGY GUIDE FOR THE GAME AS WELL, THAT WAY YOU CAN GET BOTH AND KNOW FOR SURE THEY WILL BE HERE WITH YOUR NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.”

(Best part)

Naw, strategy guides are for pussies. Ocarina of Time took me 3 months of hardcore gaming because didn’t have a guide. I want to get the most out my game. Strategy guides make non-linear gamplay into linear gamplay. “

“But it helps you find the secrets and hidden quests”

“They wouldn’t be a secret if some book told me now would it.”

I grab my game and leave. It felt good to tear into an annoying Gamestop CSR suggestive selling me into a rampage.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. David permalink
    August 13, 2006 5:21 pm

    So, uh, what did your wife think of these antics?

  2. Frisby permalink
    August 13, 2006 5:50 pm

    She said he was just doing his job, but she also agreed he was being to pushy. And since I have used a strategy guide hon a few games I wanted to blow through I admitted it was hypocritical. I guess I just wanted to call him a pussy.

  3. InvisibleMan permalink
    August 14, 2006 10:22 am

    Somebody should write a letter to GameStop/EBgames (as you all probably know, both are run by the same company) and tell them to stop giving incentives to their sales people for annoying the customers…

    I mean, is there anyone out there still that walks into one of these stores and doesn’t know that you can reserve any game in advance, officially announced or not, that you can trade in your old games (there are banners all over outside and inside the store screaming it), and that they sell guides for almost every game they have?

    Of course these poor employees are doing their job… Let’s tell their employers that it doesn’t need to be!

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