Booted: No Soup For Me
[The following is an account of a true event. All racial slurs were born out of anger at that point in time, none were meant to offend entire races, only the persons on the receiving end. If you take offense, ur an idiot. Then again, there are no idiots reading this, so i shouldn’t have to explain myself. But in this PC world, anything that’s not PC needs a disclaimer, so here it is.]
You may have noticed the peculiar sub-header to the site that reads: Boycott The Nintendo World Store. Today, i finally explain why.
It was 4 Mondays ago, i think; the early days of the AC craze. Me and Dave (aka Folax, to you) were hangin out at the Nintendo World Store doing local and wifi pillaging. We sat at the Pokemon Card tables for max comfort. Some weird lookin dude came up to us, name was “DOOM”. It was the three of us, chillin. At one point, one of the employees, a petit little girl came up to us, friendly as can be, to see what we were playing. We small talked with her, all chummy-like. She gave herself an RSVP to our little group for after she was done with her shift. We didn’t care, what the hell, right?
A little while later, she returns in plainclothes with her DS and sits next to me, DOOM and Dave on the other side. The chumminess picked up where it left off and it seemed like we had a new friend. So we’re talking and getting along, then Dave (was it Dave?) started talking about something that made me bring up something i did months earlier, even before the Miyamoto event. I mentioned how this one time while i was upstairs, i nabbed one of those Mario patches (like this but more current). Not that i was gonna put it to use or anything, but it was outside of its container and i thought, “what the hey”. When i sed it, DOOM smiled, homegirl’s grin faded, and Dave nervously chuckled. He then sed something to the effect of, “Dude, you’re saying this in front of an employee?” I replied with a don’t-worry-about-it expression and “Oh come on, she’s off the clock. She’s cool.” I sed it in a very jovial tone.
I noticed she stopped chatting with us after that, silently concentrating on her DS. After a bit, she got up and walked away, but we didn’t think anything of it. Then about 10-20 minutes after that, the latino security guy comes up to me- let’s call him Officer Hick– tells me to bring my DS, and brings me to the counter side. He says, verbatim, “We found security camera footage of you upstairs. Did you take a Mario patch?” Here’s where i fucked up- i sed yes. I usually play the nice card in these situations to hopefully get the safest possible outcome, but…it backfired big time.
Officer Hick proceeds to tell me that i am no longer allowed in the store. If i walk through those doors again, i would be trespassing. He said that if i do go back, “the bouncer in [him]” would grab me, throw me in the backroom, and beat my ass till the cops arrived. What a gentleman. So as i’m pleading for forgiveness and offer anything outside of sucking his dick to be allowed back in, we’re standing by the GBA Bar with the tall black guy. Tall Black stands quietly as me and Tito Puente go back and forth. ThenTall Black chimes in and interrupts me with “Look, bottom line, you can’t come back”. What the fuck!? Who the hell asked your burgeouis ass!? Prim and proper black fuck, probably came outta junior college and thinks he’s worth shit cause he works in midtown Manhattan. No one asked for your 2 cents, jackass. Juansito has it covered.
It was such a dick move. I shoulda lied. There was no camera footage. It was that cunt-faced twat who told Officer Carlos-Jose what i sed. And for what? Does she really think she’s gonna get some bonus because she tattled on a patch thief? Nigga please. See if ur boss gives a shit about this incident when he fires you after the holidays are over, you fuckin temp. And clearly-ex-convict Officer Guillermo, with his jacked up teeth. He sed i “disrespected” him by taking that patch. You know what, Pablo? Keep earning ur minimum wage by nodding at customers. Bravo, man. You’re real big shit. Stereotypical latino motherfucker…
Morale of the story is this: Screw the Nintendo World Store. The only good thing about it is that they get their games a day earlier. Forget that though- their handheld games, namely GBA games and certain DS ones, are overpriced by 5 bucks. It was never a great place to begin with. They kick you out after an hour, even if you are purchasing (ironically, on this particular occasion we were there for 2 hours+). There’s not much to it. It’s not the Mecca most people think it is. If you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it a hundred times. Nothing more than a tourist stop. Can’t say i’ll miss it. The only thing i regret is that i didn’t make a fool out of their lying asses. All i can do now is implore all who read this to boycott that piece of monkeyshit store. Go once, get ur fill, and move on. Do it for me. For Rollin! *black power salute*
And remember, for all your gaming needs, there is only one stop: GameStop! ^_^